Daisy,
I have heard of your story, not unlike what happened to a friend of mine nigh on 13 years ago. She had the same doubts and questions you find yourself facing.. regarding faith.. the nature of evil.. and how you can face this.. She also had guilt and blamed herself some for what happened.. If she hadn't taken that drink.. it would have never happened.. Let me tell you what i told her..
As for why god would let it happen, it is simple. Free will.
God's greatest gift to man is free will. The ability to make their own choices. To come to him thru their own will and not that of others. He has to let others make their choices.. including those who would do evil. For if he prevented them from making that choice, then there would be no free will to choose to do good or evil. Though he would grieve for the evil's done upon you and others. He must not interfere, but only help you get thru it.
As for guilt, i do now know you personally, so do not know if you suffer guilt.. but if you do, let me tell you this. You were not at fault. It was HIS choice to do this to you. He is at fault. Regardless of what anyone says , this is and never will be your fault in any way shape or form.
You will have people who are jealous of you, because of your beauty and intelligence. They will seek to hurt you thru words or deeds. Such as those who try to convince you this is your fault. Or insinuate you are a bad person because this happened to you. To them.. You must put them in context so you understand why they would do this. Then dismiss them as irrelevant. For they are really. Those who would see this happen to others and blame the victim are not really much better then the perpetrator in the first place. Their lack of compassion and basic humanity will lead them down their own dark roads...
As for your future.. How to deal with this.. it is not simple.. it is not easy.. but it IS doable.. The anger you feel.. the pain.. the confusion.. Use it. Take strength from it and let it fuel you to push on. Be angry at the one who did this to you. Let that anger burn inside to keep your fire and strength going til it burns itself out.. and you are able to accept it and move on.
As for not being able to dance anymore.. Let me just say.. My friend believed it was the end of her life as she knew it too, she felt she would never recover.. Since then.. she went on to dance with the Riverdance Troupe. Now is married with 12 kids (3 of which are adopted). her husband is ex-military. She still play's hockey on occasion, and has a successful career after she graduated college. I'm not saying you will enjoy all this success, but you can see, you can be successful, in spite of what happened to you.
I still remember all the hours i put into staying up with her after she had nightmares from flashbacks of the incident. Over the years we have become the closest of friends.. and i can tell you it changed her drastically, but in the end. Made her a very strong person.. one who never gives up..
I hope you will read this and take a little something away from it for the better. Hopefully you may understand a little bit more those questions which haunt you. (no thats not an october pun) I wish you the best of luck and a speedy recovery. I hope they bring him to justice and that you can move beyond this and live your life to the fullest.
Regards,
Scott.
I have heard of your story, not unlike what happened to a friend of mine nigh on 13 years ago. She had the same doubts and questions you find yourself facing.. regarding faith.. the nature of evil.. and how you can face this.. She also had guilt and blamed herself some for what happened.. If she hadn't taken that drink.. it would have never happened.. Let me tell you what i told her..
As for why god would let it happen, it is simple. Free will.
God's greatest gift to man is free will. The ability to make their own choices. To come to him thru their own will and not that of others. He has to let others make their choices.. including those who would do evil. For if he prevented them from making that choice, then there would be no free will to choose to do good or evil. Though he would grieve for the evil's done upon you and others. He must not interfere, but only help you get thru it.
As for guilt, i do now know you personally, so do not know if you suffer guilt.. but if you do, let me tell you this. You were not at fault. It was HIS choice to do this to you. He is at fault. Regardless of what anyone says , this is and never will be your fault in any way shape or form.
You will have people who are jealous of you, because of your beauty and intelligence. They will seek to hurt you thru words or deeds. Such as those who try to convince you this is your fault. Or insinuate you are a bad person because this happened to you. To them.. You must put them in context so you understand why they would do this. Then dismiss them as irrelevant. For they are really. Those who would see this happen to others and blame the victim are not really much better then the perpetrator in the first place. Their lack of compassion and basic humanity will lead them down their own dark roads...
As for your future.. How to deal with this.. it is not simple.. it is not easy.. but it IS doable.. The anger you feel.. the pain.. the confusion.. Use it. Take strength from it and let it fuel you to push on. Be angry at the one who did this to you. Let that anger burn inside to keep your fire and strength going til it burns itself out.. and you are able to accept it and move on.
As for not being able to dance anymore.. Let me just say.. My friend believed it was the end of her life as she knew it too, she felt she would never recover.. Since then.. she went on to dance with the Riverdance Troupe. Now is married with 12 kids (3 of which are adopted). her husband is ex-military. She still play's hockey on occasion, and has a successful career after she graduated college. I'm not saying you will enjoy all this success, but you can see, you can be successful, in spite of what happened to you.
I still remember all the hours i put into staying up with her after she had nightmares from flashbacks of the incident. Over the years we have become the closest of friends.. and i can tell you it changed her drastically, but in the end. Made her a very strong person.. one who never gives up..
I hope you will read this and take a little something away from it for the better. Hopefully you may understand a little bit more those questions which haunt you. (no thats not an october pun) I wish you the best of luck and a speedy recovery. I hope they bring him to justice and that you can move beyond this and live your life to the fullest.
Regards,
Scott.
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